An Interview with Dr. Darryl Tonemah

TC:  So did you learn on your own? You play the guitar right?

DT:  Yes, I just picked it up on my own. I didn't really know the names of the strings until about ten years ago. I'd call the chords the claw and the old lady – so when I actually learned some chords and which strings were which – it really helped my playing. I had to learn the strings, just so I wasn't humiliated. I was in the studio and the engineer said "Tune your B string" and I thought "Which one is my B string?" so I started playing all of them one at a time. And they said "no, no" and it was so humiliating because I was supposed to be a musician and a song writer and I didn't know the name of the strings! And so I thought maybe I should take this a little bit more seriously. So I started learning strings and chords and learning more about studio time. I never thought anything would ever come of it.

TC:  That's a great story. Yesterday you told a really interesting story about when you were 5'4" and 5'4" (around). That's one of the things, when people see you, where you are now, but they don't know where you've come from. What makes it interesting for me is to hear your story - the story that you share about how you got to where you are now.

DT:  You know when I talk to teachers or professionals or people who are service oriented that's what I talk about. People weren't born outside our door and then they walked in. They have this whole history and that history has been empowering or it's been limiting or it's been both. When you talk about behavior change, there's a reason people are doing whatever behavior they are doing. Everyone is motivated for whatever behavior they are doing. So if it's an unhealthy one, maybe it's because of something, and we shouldn't just assume that we can say the magic words and that behavior is going to change. Maybe they embrace that reason more than they embrace my words why they should change. I think in understanding people's stories we can have so much more insight into why we do what we do. Listening is a powerful tool in finding all that out.